Real life isn't always a bed of roses

It occurred to me last night, that I haven't posted any entries that highlight struggles I may be going through, and that most of my posts are fairly lighthearted and have happy undertones.  I know, for myself that, that was something that use to really get under my skin with some blogs I use to read.  I thought all that perkiness made the blogger seem less authentic.  Does that makes sense?  Now, of course no one wants to frequent a blog that is continuously full of negativity, pitiful inward thinking, and whining.  I think it's safe to say we all appreciate an honest and real depiction of the writer.  Please know that I, in now way live a perfect life (just ask my girls and hubby).  I feel very blessed to have the life I have.  The good, the bad, and everything in between.  I realize, however, that  when I sit down to write about what's been going on in my life, I'm often filled with happy thoughts, and reminded of all that's great about my life.  Who wouldn't want to share the ups?  I just wanted to be clear that I definitely have my downs too.  I struggle with self-esteem issues on an almost daily basis.  I have long since memorized Jeremiah 29:11 and can easily recite the words written in Psalm 139:14, but I still struggle with comparing myself to others.  Whether it's my parenting, my knowledge of scripture, my crafty hobby, home decor, my cooking skills, you name it.  I'm a perfectionist by nature, and can't help but see my faults when compared to another.  The thing is, that there is no scripture to support this kind of thinking.  No where does God say that He understands our beating ourselves up because of our short comings.  No where does He say He'll tolerate such disregard for His work in us.  Scripture is full of reminders of just the opposite.  Great leaders of the Bible were utter failures before they discovered their unique greatness when walking in right spirit with their Maker.  I must remind myself of their examples over, and over again.  This life is not about me.  It's about walking in right spirit, and trusting my God, to do what He said he'd do, give me a hope and a future.  Hope, future, promise those are not built upon distrust, worry, or an outlook that is based on the poor me syndrome.  With the help of my Savior I get incrementally better at accepting my inability to be perfect in all things, and trusting the Holy Spirit to help me be the best I can be in the areas that matter most.   I began the day thinking about the DT call at My Scrapbook Nook, resolved to the fact that my name will likely not be on the final list that will posted later today.  But I had to be honest with myself, that I was not resolved, if I felt sad about it.  I was disappointed rather.  I had to tell myself that that's okay, as I really do believe in God's timing for all things, even the ones that might seem trivial, including scrappy related things.  The same is true about how I felt when a friend announced her upcoming spotlight in a popular scrap magazine.  I was very, very happy for her, but still a little sad for me.  I have to say it out loud so that I can be honest with myself, accept the truth that is Jeremiah 29:11, and move on in faith that rejection is not going to kill me.  As much as it stings, in the end, it really does make one a little bit stronger for the next time.   The funny thing about this morning's musings for me, is that when I opened up my email, I discovered my own scrappy 'stamp of approval' so to speak.  Funny how God works sometimes.  I seriously think He looks down with such pride on His children when we finally understand in our head AND our hearts what it is He is trying to say to us.  I'll share my happy news, and the results of the DT selection as soon as I'm able.  Until then here's a fun little layout I completed yesterday of my sweet, and funny Théa.

I love that May Arts ribbon, and could make flowers out of it for just about every layout.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Photos of the fabulous September kit, featuring Crate Random papers are finally up on the Nook site.  You seriously don't want to miss this one, it'll go fast so get moving people.  You can get yours here

Hope your day is sweet friends.  Thanks for popping in.

ETA: I didn't make the DT after all.  But am so happy for a few of my friends who did, especially those that have been trying for a while now.  Thanks for all your encouragement and well wishes friends, it really meant a lot that you were all there right alongside me in the journey!

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